In celebration of International Kissing Day this July 6th, it’s time for VUSH to focus on kissing and foreplay. Let’s be real: This part of sex, romance, and intimacy is often taken for granted. A good kiss can be make or break, and good foreplay can absolutely transform a sexual experience. When intercourse is the norm, it's easy to forget about all the fun ways to have sex that don't include penetration. It’s time to stop thinking of kissing and foreplay as a box to tick before sex.
VUSH’s sexpert Steph is here to take you through seven different types of kissing and five types of foreplay, leaving you with plenty of ideas to try out with a partner this International Kissing Day.
7 Types of Kisses
1. Kiss On The Cheek
A staple for friends, family, and lovers in public settings where your regularly scheduled making out is completely unacceptable.
2. Kiss On The Lips
Subcategories include the peck, the smooch, the french kiss, and the full-on make-out. A kiss on the lips between friends, partners, or randoms on the dance floor can be something very special and memorable.
3. Kiss On The Other Lips
This is VUSH code for oral sex. Some consider receiving head the best part of sex, while others squirm at the thought. We recommend preceding this type of kiss with kisses down the entire body to feel the true magic.
4. Neck Kiss
A guaranteed way to turn up the heat in the bedroom. The neck is a very sensitive area and one of many wonderful erogenous zones. Neck kisses make fantastic foreplay material, and provide a great opportunity for dirty talk, too.
5. Forehead Kiss
The most gentle, heart-warming kiss of all. A kiss to make you melt into your body and go to heaven. (FYI, Empress 2 is a great substitute if you don’t currently have a forehead kiss type of relationship.)
6. Back Kiss
An underrated kiss, in our opinion. Some find lower back kisses extremely sexy (the back is another lesser known erogenous zone due to its sensitivity). This is also great foreplay for any kind of anal play.
7. Earlobe Kiss
Another secret erogenous zone. Ever since Jason Mraz sang “Scooch on over closer, dear, and I will nibble your ear” in I’m Yours, we’ve been wondering about the ear kiss. Mixed in with some sucking or nibbling, earlobe kisses feel quite intimate and can be very pleasurable.
5 Types of Foreplay
The name “foreplay” itself implies that it is play that happens before the main event. The main event in this case would be penetrative sex, so foreplay would involve anything that isn’t penetration, such as kissing, touching, or oral. In reality, foreplay counts as sex. For many people, such as people who experience painful sex, vulva owners who sleep with other vulva owners, or people with disabled bodies, intercourse is not a high priority in their sex lives. Let’s reframe our idea of foreplay and learn about other fun ways to have sex.
1. Exploring Erogenous Zones
We touched on this when we went through types of kisses, but there are plenty of spots on the body to touch to give someone goosebumps and turn them on. This can include the mouth, neck, ears, scalp, nipples, bum cheeks, anus, hips, thighs, arms, hands, fingers, armpits, and more. Think outside the box! You can also use different parts of the body to stimulate these areas, such as fingers, palms, knuckles, mouth, tongue, elbows, or feet.
2. Sending Sexy Texts and Photos
Sending dirty texts and suggestive photos is a great way of creating anticipation. Talk about what you want to do to each other, tell your partner a sexual memory that often replays in your head, share your secret fantasies, or send pictures or videos of body parts you wish they could touch.
But remember, sexting etiquette exists. First, get consent and set the mood, just like you would in person. Secondly, any messages or photos being sent to you are for your eyes only so do not pass them on to others (this is illegal, by the way!). Thirdly, make sure you’re sexting someone you trust, so if you don’t feel 100% safe, don’t send anything.
3. Mutual Masturbation
Engaging in self pleasure in front of a partner is an underrated type of sex and foreplay. We suggest letting your partner watch you use your favourite toy, but tell them they’re not allowed to touch you or join in. This will create a whole new level of anticipation. Alternatively, you can both masturbate next to each other or use each others bodies to masturbate (for example, by straddling or scissoring).
4. Add A Sex Toy or Two
Step up your game by adding toys. Whether you’re using a bullet vibrator on the nipples, experimenting with an internal toy anally, or using a suction vibrator on the clitoris while a partner’s fingers are inside you, there are many different ways to use toys during foreplay. A simple wand vibrator on the neck or shoulders can be foreplay if you really need that massage to relieve tension and feel ready for sex.
5. Outside The Bedroom
Speaking of nonsexual foreplay, any emotional, romantic, intimate, or sensual act that creates anticipation and builds desire can be considered foreplay. Psychosexologist Esther Perel says that foreplay begins at the end of the previous orgasm. This means that anything that happens within the relationship before sex counts as foreplay, even a simple look, touch, smile, or laugh. What nonsexual things do people do for you that turn you on?
3 Reasons to Spend Time on Kissing and Foreplay
Foreplay is just as fun as, if not more fun than, intercourse. Many people think foreplay is the best part of sex! There are just as many ways to have sex externally as there are internally. By placing less emphasis on intercourse and diversifying the type of sex you’re having, you’re more likely to learn more about your desires and find new kinks and turn ons.
For those who really enjoy intercourse, spending more time on foreplay can increase arousal to help better prepare for penetrative sex. Outercourse is especially important for vulva owners since vulvas generally take more time to become aroused than penises. Foreplay is essential to allow the vagina time to self-lubricate, lengthen, and open up to accommodate penetration.
Penetrative sex is not the only way to finish. In fact, many vulva owners find it easier to orgasm through external stimulation compared to internal penetration. The clitoris is more sensitive than the vagina! There are also ways to orgasm that don’t include genital contact, and in some cases, without any touch at all.
Your Foreplay Challenge This Kissing Day
Now that we’ve no doubt sold kissing and foreplay to you, we have a challenge for you: Take intercourse completely off the table next time you’re in the bedroom. Why not try those seven kisses we mentioned earlier? Or experiment with a new type of foreplay you haven’t done before? Focusing solely on kissing and outercourse can open your eyes to a whole new world of sex, and all in all, it’s a lot of fun.