Today VUSH is chatting with Dom and Ella from Australia's Married at First Sight season 9. Dom and Ella made headlines not only for being contestants on the show but for spreading important messages about pleasure and sexuality.
Dom and Ella host the Sit With Us podcast, where they chat all things relationships, reality TV, pop culture and everything in between. Listen to their most recent episode about masturbation, 'Self-Love Secrets', here. In the episode, Dom and Ella highlight the importance of knowing your own body first so you can teach partners, and share the physical and mental benefits of masturbation.
Stalk the girls on Instagram here: Domenica Calarco / Ella May Ding.
VUSH's 30-Day 'I Come First' Challenge
VUSH is challenging everyone to masturbate for 30 days! Life can be busy, tiring, overwhelming - now more than ever, prioritising self love has never been more important. Masturbating can provide a range of physical, mental and social benefits. See the results yourself.
LEARN MORE ABOUT 'I COME FIRST'
Now, let's get to Dom and Ella's responses.
What has kickstarted your self love journey and why do you think self love is important?
Ella: I started my self love journey about 8 years ago! Being a very sexual person and also being single for so long, I wanted to understand myself more. A girlfriend of mine actually gifted me a vibrator and from then on, I was obsessed. Over the years I have understood what it feels to climax alone and with someone and that is thanks to self love. As a woman not being overly educated on how our sexual experiences should be, when I had my first orgasm from a self love sesh, I realised how much I was missing. It literally changed my life and confidence forever.
Dom: After going through my divorce a couple years back, I had to learn to love myself again. It definitely was a journey, but it was the kick-start I needed… I had begun to lose myself and my sex drive in that relationship. My friendship with Ella has also been a great catalyst for change; Ella sharing her journey has inspired me to step out of my comfort zone a lot more.
What makes you truly happy?
Ella: This is a tough question... I don’t think I truly know what it is that makes me the happiest! I know being with the people I love and being in my safe spaces in trackies with a peppermint tea watching Sex and The City or F.R.I.E.N.D.S makes me feel very content.
Dom: Being surrounded by my loved ones and my dog Millie - that is when I am most truly happy.
What gets you in the mood?
Ella: Honestly a lot can get me in the mood.. even just a flirty romantic dinner date with wine and candles and music going! But when it really comes down to getting in the mood, I'd have to say passionate kissing and touching, even fully clothed! Teasing each other and then whispering dirty talk or hearing the things they want to do me! (Making me horny thinking about it.) Just ALL the kissing and touching! The workup to the end goal.
Dom: Physical touch is a huge stimulant for me - whether that’s a touch of my hand, my face or ears… I love the connection you can find with a potential new partner when you’re sitting on a date and they are very open with their love language and how they show affection - that to me is a huge turn on! Kissing is the ultimate turn on for me… It gets me going in a matter of no time.
What day are you on in the 'I Come First' 30-Day Challenge? What improvements have you seen?
Ella: I mean... I do all the things in the challenge already in my life and I absolutely love them! But I'm up to Day 5 which is about mindfulness and masturbation! Nothing more interesting when you focus on your breathing and slow it down. It can really impact your orgasm! I learnt all about this long ago and I do it all the time!
Dom: I’m currently on Day 3 - getting up close and personal with myself. It’s actually the most incredible task to do! Cannot wait for the rest!
Why is joining the 'I Come First' 30-Day Challenge so important to you both?
Ella: Being a single woman in this world (and the dating world). Especially for me, I don’t like having meaningless sex anymore because I just don’t enjoy it if I'm not connected to then in some way. So I put myself first ALL the time now and it's the f***ing best! :D Putting aside time for me and choosing me has really shaped the way I am with people intimately too. As I have gotten older, I have learnt just how important it is, even if its just running a bath or going for a walk.
Dom:Joining the 30-Day I Come First Challenge has forced me to take some time to myself again after being incredibly busy with life… I need to always remember to take time for me.
Do you have any holidays planned? How do you plan on staying accountable with the 'I Come First' 30-Day Challenge while you're travelling?
Ella: YES! I have LA, Italy and UK trips coming up next month and oh my, I am excited. I guess like anything when you have a goal or a to-do list, you must get it done and make sure to put aside the time! I will be taking my Empress 2 that’s for sure. Dom and I will keep each other accountable to put aside time to relax/pamper and hype one another!
Dom: Ella and I are having a 'Hot Girl Summer'! And we will definitely be holding each other accountable to the challenge while we’re travelling.
What do you hope to see next from VUSH?
Ella: I would love to see VUSH bring out a massage oil that is safe to use everywhere. Nothing more I LOVE than an erotic massage... Making me hot again thinking about it.
Dom: I would love to see VUSH come out with a silk eye mask. Sensory experience for me is huge during self pleasure and sex.